I find it difficult to decide what I want to do in the future. I don’t want be average, have a job I hate. I want to be great and do something I love. Most of the time I find my self dreaming. (I really do that a lot, too often i’m afraid) And I think dreaming is good. But one has to go for ones dreams. I think one of my biggest problems is that I am afraid to go for what I want.

I don’t know why. Maybe I am afraid to fail or maybe even success. Sometimes I realize that I actually might be afraid of what other people think. If they think it is stupid to want what I want. I don’t know if that makes sence.

I find myself in my room just watching different movies and tv shows and think to myself, why I don’t work hard or do something that would benefit my future. But it doesn’t get past that thinking phase. I am afraid that I end up working a shitty job, that I hate, for the rest of my life. But I still don’t do anything. And I hate myself for it sometimes.

Only thing I have done is painting. I love art. Creating it. Doing something beaudiful with my own hands and from scratch. But that is something I can do from my own room. And if I don’t like what I have done, I just never show it to anyone.

So I made a promise to myself. I will make a decision about my future within this year, and will take first steps to achieve my goal.


2 Replies to “Future”

  1. Did you know that each time I see your name come up on my reader or as a like of something I did it makes me happy? It makes me happy because of your talent. You worry about what other people think? All creative people go through that because we do something others sometimes just cannot comprehend because they are not capable of it. Take the first step. Don’t waste any more time. Otherwise you end up like me, alone in a room, living in pain, and pouring out feelings in words that I don’t even understand sometimes.

    Be a superstar in this world. You already are one each time that star lights up in the top right hand corner of my screen. Good day and much Love and much Respect.

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